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Changing Diapers: the Hip Mom's Guide to Modern Cloth Diapering

Tuesday, July 12, 2011



I read so many posts on facebook about people complaining about the little things, followed by "fml".  For those who don't know what that means, it is "f**k my life".  Sorry, I apologize for the language, I don't like reading blogs with it, but it has been irritating me for a long time.  So this is my vent.

Even before my accident, I didn't like reading posts with that.  But even more so in the last 12 weeks, it really irks me (I love any chance to use the word "irks").  I admit, I may post a complaint here and there, but I never even think "fml".  It is very sad to me that so many people think that small problems are so big.  I understand that there are some days where I may feel down and defeated.  But things really are not that bad.

My kids may drive me crazy and get on my last nerve on a day that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

My car may break down (been there, done that -- plenty of times).

A car cut me off today.

I got in a fight with my husband.

I got a bad haircut trying to save a few bucks.

I was in a motorcycle accident with my husband and still can't walk 12 weeks later, much less take care of my kids.

My 4 year old potty trained son is having regressions and has PTSD as a result of our accident.

It's not the end of the world.  Life goes on.

When I traveled to Nigeria in 2003, everyone told me to expect culture shock when I got there.  I did experience it, but not until returning home.  On that trip, I witnessed children running around naked because they had no clothes, yet they still had joy on their face!  I witnessed women caring for orphans (who lost their parents to illness or war) who genuinely loved what they did, despite the poor living conditions (no electricity and a hole in the floor for a "toilet").  I witnessed people singing and dancing down the aisle at church to joyfully give their offering, even if they couldn't "afford" it.  I experienced the "potholes" in the roads (that spanned the width of the road and were just as deep).

Then I came home to America, where more is never enough.  Where we complain about the tiniest bump in the road.  Where we complain about a dirty restroom at the mall.  Where we complain about not being able to afford the newest phone/tv/video game/_insert gadget here_.  Where we are jealous of our friend's new designer handbag or shoes.   Where we complain about a 5 minute power loss from a storm.

I'm not saying this to be "holier than thou", or to make you think I'm perfect by any means.  I'm not.  I do complain about these things (though I complain about potholes a lot less!).  But I also know there's no point in thinking my life is horrible because of the little things that go wrong.  Or even the big things.  Use a little perspective and you will realize that even the big things may one day look small.  Or that your big troubles in life are nothing compared to a friend's or neighbor's.  Or that stranger you passed by in the store, the one who has to choose between diapers and food because they can't afford both.

Instead of saying "fml", why not just be thankful for all of the little good things in your life?  You might realize there's a lot more good than bad.  And even if there's not, be thankful.  Always.


  1. Thank you for your post. I never knew what that meant before now and to be honest I am shocked!

    If only everyone could have experiences like what you described in hopes of them understanding that there is so much more in the world.

    ((hugs)) for all you are going through and for sharing your hope with others :)

  2. Very well said Brenda! I too agree, I hate it when people only use FB to complain...all the time, and everyone is subjected to it, and the use of 'FML' so freely. Sad for them!

  3. Thanks! Not everyone agrees with me, but it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels that way:)

  4. I didn't know what that meant either! You are so right! I need to not complain about stuff....

  5. I'm not saying don't complain, just saying to not feel like it's the end of the world! Even the bad things could be worse. I don't want to downplay the things in our lives that make it feel not so great, because life does suck sometimes. But just remember that sometimes we have to "walk the rocks to see the mountainview" (from one of my favorite songs by Caedman's Call). Things will get better. I promise.

  6. Sometimes a good eff in your life can be what turns your day around. I say let people write whatever they like on their fb page. If you don't like, hide or unfriend. That being said, it's only fair you can write whatever you'd like in your blog. But yeah, some people, myself included, are venters. If a little online vent to your friends keeps you from losing your shit IRL, I say it's a good thing.

  7. Meh, I'm torn.
    I'm a huge proponent of not sweating the small stuff, choosing my battles, and loving the small moments. I try not to let things get to me, and after seeing one of my best friends bury her 3 year old son when he drowned in a pool 3 weeks ago, I've learned to complain about far less in life. Less bothers me, less annoys me, and I definitely don't get as frustrated with my children. At least they are here with me, which is more than I can say for one inspiring mama in MI.
    That being said, Not getting upset when someone ELSE posts something about THEIR life is another exercise in not sweating the small stuff.
    Getting into a match over whose got things worse will end up with everyone upset and no one as the winner. Someone else will always have it worse. For instance, your accident sounds horrible and to not be able to walk and take care of your kids must be very stressful. But I could easily say "atleast your children are alive to BE taken care of". No one ever comes out the winner in those games, so I choose to not participate.
    Take a deep breath and worry less about what other people complain about, and more about what affects you in your daily life. It'll leave you more peaceful and happy. Promise.

  8. Jackie, that is absoulutely horrible what happened to your friend. I always hug my kids a little tighter when I hear of stories like that. That is my worst nightmare and biggest fear. My heart aches for your friend and her family.

    This was no match to say who has it worse. My whole point is that someone always has it worse, and our problems (however big -- even what I'm going through now) sometimes pale in comparison to what someone else is going through. In no way am I saying what happened to me is the worst thing, or worse than others experience. If you've read my previous posts you would know that. I don't sit and complain about what happened to me all the time, even offline. Because I know it could have been far worse, so I'm just thankful for what I do have in my life, especially my family. When I do start complaining about what happened, I remind myself of what could have been, or of a positive in my life.

    Yes, life sucks sometimes. Complaining and venting is a natural process of healing or getting over whatever it is that caused the complaint (that was kinda the point of this post;). The term "fml" to me is just very very heavy. I don't take it lightly. I know several people (and there are plenty more that I don't know) who actually think those words are completely true, and not just another phrase to say "life sucks".

    Maybe I'm just one of those people who annoys everyone because I try to think positively, even in the worst situations. And maybe I'm a little crazy for trying to help share my point of view that while life sucks sometimes, you should still be thankful. But I still stand behind what I wrote.