Back to Reality

It's been almost a week since I've been home.  We are all adjusting still, but it has been wonderful to be in my own house with my kids!  Even though the 2 weeks I was away went by surprisingly fast, it was the longest I have been away from my kids.  I've tried making up for lost time with lots of cuddles!

I was finally able to sit down and write a note to the 16 y/o girl who hit us.  I've been putting it off, struggling with the right words.  I wanted to reassure her that we do forgive her, and also ask her to forgive herself.  I didn't want my words to sound hollow, so I can only hope that the words I wrote are what God wants her to hear.

I was so tired of sitting in a hospital bed that we have actually stayed pretty busy this week.  Today is actually the first day that we have stayed home with nothing to do.  And I'm bored!  My poor mom has to unload my wheelchair and 2 kids everytime we go somewhere, and then load us all back up when it's time to leave.  I hope she knows how much we appreciate her!

Tomorrow I will help my boss, Sharni (owner of the Nappy Shoppe, where I work p/t on Saturday's) at an expo at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco.  It will be good to get back to something I enjoy doing for me, which is helping get more babies in cloth diapers!  Once I am cleared to drive (basically, when my pelvic bone is no longer hurting and I'm off the prescription pain meds) I will return to work.  Hopefully this will happen sooner than later!  But it will also depend on when my next surgery is.

I have an appointment next week with my surgeon, but also a plastic surgeon to see when a skin graft will be necessary.  Please pray for good news, that there is no infection and that most of the skin and tissue does not die off in my heel.

So far, it's been a good week getting back into a routine.  I still do a lot of sitting around, but at least I'm home.

Update 5/3/11

I'M HOME!!!  It feels so ggod to be at my own house, with my family around me.  This is definitely good for my recovery.  Of course, that means getting back to life.  For 2 weeks, my life was on hold while my body recovered.  Though I'm still recovering, life must go on.  Riley still has gymnastics and speech class, Ryan still has to work, kids still get sick...

The first week I was in the hospital, Eli had an ear infection.  Fortunately, it cleared up quickly.  The week I was in rehab, while staying with my parents at their house, Riley had an ear infection.  So bad his ear drum burst.  Good news is he was already at the urgent care center when it burst, so they were able to treat it immediately.  He got 2 shots, plus a script for an oral antibiotic and some cough medicine.  We took him in yesterday for a follow up with our regular doctor.  She said it still looks pretty nasty, and added some ear drops to his medication, with a follow up in 2 weeks.  At least his ear tubes are still in place, so we don't have to worry about going back to surgery anytime soon for that.

Ryan is back to work full duty now.  He had to do a physical test to make sure he was able to do his job to full capacity, which he passed with flying colors!  He was extremely bored with light duty, and is thrilled to have something to do again.

I had a follow up this morning with the surgeon.  He said my right pelvic bone fracture is still looking good, and has not shifted.  This is great news!  If it had shifted at all, then I would be wheelchair bound, and wouldn't be able to bear weight on either leg.  The fracture in my left fibula is still looking good, as well.  They put on a new, slimmer, light weight cast.  I am super excited about this, since the last one was very heavy, and made walking (on crutches or with the walker) very painful on my left ankle.  I think I can even get jeans over this new cast, which means I won't have to live in sweats for the next couple of months!

My left heel is still the main concern.  They re-attached the skin and tissue to my heel in my last surgery, but they still need to keep a close eye on it to watch for infection.  I have another appointment next week, and will also see a plastic surgeon that same day.  Most likely I will have a skin graft on some dead skin on the back of my ankle.  Please pray that it does not spread to the bottom of my foot.  If that skin/tissue dies, then there will be even more long term complications.  I will continue to be non-weight bearing on my left foot til at least mid-June.  He also told me that the screws will most likely come out at some point, after my torn tendon heals.  I originally thought the screws were there to stay, but I guess not!

The boys are adjusting to me being home.  I think Eli is holding a bit of a grudge against me.  He will come to me when he's happy, but still wants my mom when he is tired and cranky.  I am fine with this, mostly because for so long he only wanted me.  It's just nice to see him cling to someone else.  I think it's so funny when I change his diaper, he goes crying to my mom for comfort! 

Riley is extremely gentle with me, most of the time.  He asks me several times a day why I still have a broken bone, and why I have a cast.  It's hard for him to understand since he can't see the actual boo boo.

Elijah has only wanted to nurse one time.  He woke up still very sleepy yesterday morning.  I came out from my room to find him cuddling on the couch with my mom.  I sat down, and he came to cuddle with me.  The first few times he just pointed at my chest and looked at me (his way of telling me he wants milk), he was okay when I told him "all gone...no more".  But after a few minutes he got very upset that he couldn't nurse.  He calmed down after a few minutes, but it still made me a little sad that he was forced to wean, and that it wasn't done on our terms.

Life will just be a new "normal" (whatever that is!) from now on, especially over the next few months.  We are just very fortunate and thankful that we still have a life to live!

Going Home!

Tomorrow I am being discharged from rehab and will go home for the first time in 2 weeks.

When Ryan and I rode off on his motorcycle for our date, I never imagined that I wouldn't return home that night.  I kissed and hugged both boys, told them I love them, and waved as they watched us ride down the street.  We had a fun dinner, followed by a ride around Grapevine, even across the Grapevine Lake Dam.  We ended up in downtown Grapevine, and bought a bottle of wine. 

We were so close to home.  In just one second, our lives were flipped upside down.  We were rushed to an ER in Plano, while calls were made to our parents.  Despite the pain, I was still worried about Riley and Eli, wondering how they would feel when they woke up.  They had never had a night away from Mommy and Daddy (well, Riley had one time, but he was too little to remember).  I was concerned mostly about Eli, since I was still breastfeeding him, and he is such a clingy mama's boy.  I knew they were in good hands with my inlaws, but I still worried. 

I was (and am) very thankful that night did not end worse.  It easily could have.  8 days in the hospital, and another 5 days in rehab, has given me a lot of time to think.  I try not to think about what could have happened, and instead, focus on the good. 

This has been a wake up call.  It is so easy to get in a routine in our daily lives.  It's easy to take for granted what we do have, and always seem to want more.  This has been a reminder that I have an amazing husband, 2 wonderful children, a great family, and the best of friends.  God has given me life, and He has blessed me with so many wonderful people to surround me.  And I am thankful. 

I want to leave you with these words, a song in fact.  "Blessed be Your Name" by Matt Redman.  Please lift this up as a prayer as you read.

"Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
 
And blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name
 
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
 
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
 
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name
 
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
 
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
 
Blessed the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
 
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord
Blessed be Your name
 
You give and take away
You gve and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord
Blessed be Your name
 
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
 
Blessed be Your name
From the risin' of the sun over us
To the settin' of the same
Though there's pain in the offering
 
Oh, blessed be Your name
Blessed be
Blessed be
Blessed be Your name"
 

Update 4/25/11

Ryan had his stitches taken out today, and was released to go back to work. After watching Riley at gymnastics for a little while, he is now on his way in to the office to take care of whatever paperwork he needs to fill out to go back f/t tomorrow.
I am currently waiting on the rehab to get the insurance stuff taken care of so I can be released from the hospital. I will be going to Contiuum Rehab in Flower Mound. It is a brand new facility, near 1171 and 2499. How long I stay will depend on how my progress goes. They said typical stays are 1-2 weeks. Please pray for strength during my 3 hours of rehab each day. I am nervous about the pain, but know I need to push through in order to go home.

Because of my injuries, I can not put any weight on my left foot. However, my right pelvic bone is broken. As of now, nothing has shifted, but please pray that everything stays where it is and nothing shifts in my pelvic bone during my therapy.

My mom is taking the boys to Wichita Falls this week so she can take care of a few things at home. When she returns, she is going to stay as long as we need her, which could be a couple of months. I will be in a combination of a wheelchair, walker, and crutches for the next 8 weeks or so.

I also ask that you say a prayer for the 16 year old driver who hit me. I cannot imagine how she is feeling right now. This is a very difficult learning experience, especially at such a young age. It's something she will live with the rest of her life. I pray that she is able to forgive herself and move on. I am struggling with the words I want to express to her, so I have put off writing to her. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from her family, as well as a kind note letting me know of their prayers. I am unsure of how to reassure her that I have forgiven her, and hold no ill will towards her. I hope that whatever words I do write help her forgive herself, which is the hardest thing to do.

While I have a long road to recovery, I know that God is with us. He was with us during the accident, and protected us. He has been with us during recovery, and will continue to be there through it all.

Thanks again for all of your concern and well wishes! It really means more than you know.

Keep your eyes open!!

Some of you may know, but for those who don't, I thought I'd share.

Ryan and I had a great date night Saturday 4/16.  On our way home, just a few minutes away, we were in a motorcycle accident.  There were 2 left turn lanes, we were in the one that could either go left or straight.  There was a car (behind us, that we couldn't see) in the left turn only lane.  When we were turning left, that car attempted to go straight, and t-boned us.  Ryan and I were both flown from the motorcycle.  My leg was crushed bewteern the car's bumber and our bike.  And apparently, I ended up on the car's hood and smashed my head on her windshield.

I could not get up, but Ryan was able to get up and walk.  He didn't realize it at the time, but he had a large gash on his left knee that was bleeding pretty good.  The fire department and ambulance came, and of course the police.  The 16 year old driver who hit us did stop (and yes, she is insured).

At the emergency room, they took me to get several CT scans, on my head, neck, back. both legs (esp my left), and my abdomen.  Miraculously, my left ankle was not shattered, like everyone suspected.  That was (and is) my source of pain.  My head, back, and abdomen came back clear, as well as my right leg (which is just bruised).

My pelvic bone is cracked, however, it is a clean break and there's not much they can do (other than make sure I take it very easy and don't knock it out of place).  There is also a clean break in my fibula (the smaller bone in my lower leg, not a weight bearing bone).

They gave Ryan both internal and external stitches to his gash.  He also has a huge bruise, which covers the entire back side of his left thigh.  He was released from the ER early Sunday morning, never admitted to the hospital.

The worst injury was to my left heel/foot/ankle.  Early Sunday morning, I was taken to surgery where they cleaned the wound on my heel (it was "degloved", meaning the skin and padding was pulled back, exposing the bone and achilles tendon).  They cleaned it up and put a wound vac on it. 

I had another surgery this morning to clean up and look at my heel some more.  They removed the deep wound vac from my heel, reattached everything, and put another wound vac on (this time just under the surface).  They had to add 2 screws to my ankle, even though it's not broken, the tendons are pretty messed up and need some help.  I am also wearing a soft cast/splint to keep it stable.

I will be here another couple of days, and may go to rehab for a few days before going home.  It all depends on how things go in physical therapy tomorrow.  I am not looking forward to the PT, since I know it's going to hurt....bad.  But, I'll do what needs to be done.  I'm having to learn to be still and let others take care of me.  It's usually the other way around, so that aspect is very hard. 

I have also been reminded of how many wonderful people God has surrounded me with.  So many prayers are being lifted up, offers of help around the house and with the boys, offers to wash E's cloth diapers, meals are even being made and taken to my house (where my mom is staying with the kids).

Things could have been much worse.  We were both wearing helmets and leather jackets, which saved us from far worse injuries.  However, this could have been prevented if the young driver of the car had paid a little more attention to the road signs, and to those around her.  This is something I'm sure she will never forget, and will have to live with the rest of her life.  I do forgive her, and hope that she is one day able to move past this accident.

As the weather turns nicer, please PAY ATTENTION TO THOSE AROUND YOU!!  Especially motorcycles.  More and more bikers will be out as the weather warms up.  Even with all of the safety gear, you are far more protected in your car than they are on their bike.  So what would have been a minor accident in a car, was a major trama on a motorcycle.  I can not even think about what would have happened had we not been wearing helmets.  Especially after learnimg my head crushed her windshield.

Thank you for the continued support and prayers!  We are definitely feeling God's love and healing powers.  I will try to keep you updated as I'm able to. 

I CHALLENGE YOU!!

I'm about to take a challenge.  I'm challenging YOU to do the same.  Read about the challenge HERE and  HERE.  It will take place May 23-30.

Have you ever used flats?  Have you ever hand washed your diapers?  Yeah, me neither.  But I'm about to do both, and I'm super excited about it!

In response to this saddening article, a challenge has been made to prove that diapering can be done at an extremely low cost by using flats.  The challenge was also made to prove that cloth diapering IS possible, even without a washer and dryer.  When I read the above article about how some families are washing out and reusing disposable diapers, I was inspired to start a program that's been stewing in my mind for several months now.  I had planned on waiting until later this year when things settled down.  But let's face it: things will never settle down.   As I'm typing this, there are families who are having to choose between diapers and groceries.  I do not want any babies health to be at risk because their families can't afford both groceries and diapers.  Why wait?

Then I saw this challenge, and I'm all over it!  Contacts have been made to get things started with the program to help local families in cloth diapers who cannot afford it.  This challenge will help me be able to not only tell people it can be done very inexpensively and without a washer/dryer, but I can share my own personal experience. 

So, do you accept this challenge? 

:::squeal:::

I FINALLY have a CLOTHESLINE!!!

I am so excited, can you tell?

I have been asking my husband to put one up for a year.  And now I have one.

LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!

I am excited to start saving some energy by line drying the diapers, and whatever else I can fit on the lines.  It was very relaxing doing the monotonous work of hanging the items on the line.  A good way to clear the mind.  I even did part of it with E on my back in the Pikkolo. 



I finally have a photo of my diapers out on the line.  I have always been a little envious of the beautiful photos I've seen on so many cloth diaper forums and pages!  Now I have my own to share!!




The pretty colors <3





I added some clothes to the 2nd line.  I ran out of room.  I need more lines...



I'll throw in the other project we did this weekend.  "We" being my husband, with a little help from Riley.

Riley enjoyed playing in the hole for the new tree we planted.

Making sure it's deep enough!

Watering the new tree:)