This is going to be my pity party post.
I am not usually one to complain about life. Things happen. Bad things happen. There is absolutely nothing we can do to change those things, so what's the point on dwelling on them? I don't live a life of regrets. I believe that we can learn from ALL life experiences and move on. When bad things happen, yeah it sucks, but I do my best to move on and learn from it.
A very bad thing happened to our family. 4 weeks ago today, in fact. A motorcycle accident that will have a life long impact on me and our family. It sucks, yes, but what can you do to change it? Absolutely nothing. So I've taken things in stride, including a LOT of pain, 2 surgeries, 8 days (so far) in the hospital, 5 days in rehab, medications that make me feel like crap (but take most of the pain away), time away from my kids, forced weaning from breastfeeding, my mom quitting her job sooner than planned so she can move in with us to help with the kids, me not being able to do a lot of things for myself (like getting a drink or snack), not being able to drive, missing work (which I LOVE).... the list goes on.
I've handled it all pretty well I think.
But I'm tired today and feel like complaining today. So read on if you want, or not. Doesn't matter to me. I just feel the need to get this off my chest, just this once.
So here's my complaints:
I hate not being able to get anything for myself. If I'm hungry or thirsty, I have to depend on someone else to get it for me.
I can't even carry things around the house and, again, have to depend on others.
Though I can get in and out of the shower on my own, it is easier if someone is there to make sure I don't fall trying to get my towels or the removable shower head.
I hate having to clean my wound twice a day and changing the bandages. It's REALLY nasty to look at my foot and I really don't like doing it.
I hate that I have to sleep on my back, which is very uncomfortable all night long. I'm a side sleeper, not a back sleeper, and I hate it.
I hate that the pain meds make me feel crummy. They make me nauseous so I have to take medication to counter that. The ear patch quit working and just irritated my skin so now I have a suppository to help with the nausea. Not something you probably wanted to hear, but honestly, I don't care. It sucks. I hate it, but it works.
The pain meds also make me tired. I have little energy to do anything.
I also hate that when I do any little thing it wears me out. Just a simple trip to the bathroom takes a lot of effort.
What I really hate is that I can't even put my kids to bed. I can't carry Eli to his room and lay him in his crib.
I hate that I have a long recovery ahead of me.
I hate that as soon as the pain is starting to get somewhat better (I can now take just 1 pain pill instead of 2) I'm facing another surgery, which will just lead to another. The pain is only going to get worse.
I hate that this accident delayed my trip to visit my brother, sister-in-law, and their baby. She is 5 months old today and I have yet to meet her. I was looking forward to a trip we can't afford to finally meet her next month, but that is not a possibility now. I'm not sure when that will happen at this point.
So that's my list of complaints. I'm sure I could think of more, but I'm sure you're tired of "hearing" me at this point (if you're still reading, that is). I promise not to whine any more, at least not publicly. But I had to get this out, and I do feel slightly better now. Sorry for my pity party rant, but thanks for listening. I promise to be my positive self next post.
I even contemplated not hitting "publish post", and just leaving this as a personal rant. But for some reason I feel like sharing my complaints with others. No need to pat me on the back and say how well I've handled things, I'm not looking for that, so please don't.
Instead, share your current complaints! Let's share in our misery together. What's bugging you?